A Rough Week

Although the basic trend over the summer and fall has been greater energy and less pain, this week has been bumpier than most. Usually it takes me about 2-3 days to recover from a chemo infusion. This week it has taken the 7 days and still has me stuck with aches and pains. And the aches and jabs have found new locations in my body to experiment on. I have taken additional meds and more frequent rest times, and was grateful that I could stay home on Veteran's Day.

As I've been given more energy and been able to work longer hours, I've sometimes forgotten that I am in a battle for my health. My brain thinks my body is normal and healthy again. So it's a reminder, that I am still vulnerable and very much in the process of recovery. In busy times I can forget to take pills or remember to stay hydrated. I would appreciate your prayers for this.

Each time I go in for labs, they need to poke me to draw blood. And apparently my blood vessels tend to roll, which means they seldom get an IV in on the first try. Last week it took three. A month or two ago, the oncologist explained that I could have a port so that IV's could be hooked directly into it. I have decided to have one installed. Although it is a minor operation, it is still invasive, so I would ask that you pray that the procedure would go well.

Last month I shared some of my health journey with a cross-generational men's group. The feedback I have received has been positive, even from the young guys in college, or just out. Several commented that they seldom hear death discussed in the open, and in the context of one's faith. So they appreciated it. Thank you for your prayers on this item.

Also I would appreciate your continued prayers for restful nights.

Thank you for standing with me in this battle.

-Cal-

Wonderfully made

Last month I noticed that I kept getting dust in my eyes. It got to the point of my going to the drug store for an eye wash. When I shared this with Annie, she inspected at my eyes for signs of a problem.
"You don't have any eyelashes!" she exclaimed.
I went to look in the mirror. She was right. No lashes! I knew my hair was falling out. Eyebrows were thinning. I had regarded lashes as more cosmetic than practical. But it made sense. No lash protection, more dust. In the end it became more of an insight into how intricately and wonderfully we are made. Each part of our body has a function, even the smallest members. When they are missing, the entire body suffers. Sound familiar? So until new ones grow out, I will need to carry around wetting solution.

The last set of tests put my PSA at 68. Still trending down, though more slowly. We praise God for this. At the last meeting, the oncologist let me know that I would probably be on chemo another three months. I was a bit disappointed, but it made sense. The goal is to keep driving the PSA lower, much lower, back down under 10, where it should be.

Thank you all for your ongoing prayers. I hope you will keep praying toward this goal. More than 16 months into my diagnosis, I keep meeting people who are praying for me. Last week it was our past pastor, Bruce Murphy.
As Annie and I pray, she will often ask the Lord to take all of the prayers going up for me and ask God to apply them very specifically to our immediate needs.
-Of course, one of them is for new lashes to grow.
-We pray regularly that the chemo will only go to where it should.
-I still need ongoing prayer for sound sleep at night.
-And at World Relief the work is piling up. So please continue to pray for me to know the limit for work.
-I have been asked to share with a men's group what living with cancer is like. Could you please pray that what I share will help people see God's priorities for life.

With deep appreciation for your partnership in this battle,

-Cal-

Summer Blessings

It's been a wonderful summer. Annie was on vacation, so we were able to spend time together. She accompanied me on my many medical appointments. We enjoyed sleeping in, dinners on the patio with our boys, a weekend trip, a family reunion, Shakespeare in the Park. My energy has been up, and the summer enjoyable. We see each event as God's gift, and not to be taken for granted.

Since July my PSA numbers have dropped under 100. At the last reading, it was 70. We praise the Lord for this development. The oncologist said that he expects it to continue on it's downward trend.

With Labor Day gone, Annie is back to her work in the schools; she will not be as free in her schedule. And as I have gained increased energy, I have added to my work hours. Some weeks I have been able to put in 40 hours. Our foster son John is back at school requiring conferences with teachers, sports schedules, etc.. The fall schedules will require adjustments on our parts.

We continue to be prayed for in person by faithful friends, and we know that many of you continue to hold us in your prayers. Thank you so much. I am surprised as I continue to meet new people who tell me that they are praying for me regularly (some say daily). I am convinced that these prayers are as important as the treatment. The formula that I see working is "one cup of chemo mixed with a daily cup of prayer."

As I continue in my treatments, please pray that the chemo destroys the cancer cells but not anything else. I would appreciate ongoing prayer that I be able to get restful sleep. As I increase work hours please pray that I will not overdo it, and overtax my system.

Thank you for upholding me in this battle.

-Cal-

Good enough to travel

Yes, by the end of June my health had improved to the point of taking a family vacation. We rented a large RV, packed all five boys inside, and drove across the state to Montana's Glacier Park. There amid spectacular peaks and serene lakes, Annie and I were happy to hike up a trail for half a mile and back, while the boys went up to the top. Besides the scenery, we were treated to goats, deer, bear cubs, and bison and pronghorns at the bison preserve. The RV made it possible for me to rest and eat while traveling, playing Scrabble with the boys, or "camping".
After we returned, I had another round of chemo to partake of. The PSA was down to 221! The pain was down! We really praise the Lord for that. The red blood cells were low, so I received a blood transfusion. That seemed to boost the low energy. I have now had up to 8-hour days at work, though I still hear the voices not to overdo it.
So thank you for hanging in there with us over this difficult year. Thank you for your calls, cards, containers of soup, and intercessions. We consider those prayers to be as important as the medications. We continue to pray that God will replace every single cancer cell with a healthy one. We also pray that God will be glorified through all of your participation in this trial.
With deep appreciation,
Cal

Encouraged

In the last month that I have been on the chemo treatment, I can say that the pain has decreased, the energy level has increased, and my appetite has returned. The PSA had come down from the mid-500's to about 450 in three weeks. What a surprise! Instead of 2-4 hours at work I have been putting in 5-6. Several weeks ago I was able to speak at a church's Saturday evening service as well as the Sunday morning worship. The energy was there for that long weekend.
Thank you for all of your prayers on this long journey. As I was receiving the first chemo treatment, a friend, Susan, called encouraging us to see the chemo as God's mercy entering and giving life to my body. Also that it would not overstep its bounds as it carries out its assignment. So Annie and I have prayed along those lines.
I still have a good immune level, but it could drop over time with the treatments. I need to increase my red blood cell count. I would appreciate your prayers along those lines. Thank you so much.

-Cal-

Starting chemo treatments

The doctors couldn't explain it. Surgery should have removed the source of the testosterone, which usually governs the PSA. But the PSA which should have dropped low, kept rising, to over 480. That was during the intake test with the Cancer Care Alliance (SCCA) for one of their clinical trials. Because of this spike in the PSA, which they said meant an aggressive spurt by the cancer, the doctor recommended the one trial that would hit it hardest. That involved chemotherapy. A consultation with Dr. Lee also confirmed this choice.
So on May 3 I started treatment. For the next three months I will be receiving chemo treatments at the SCCA. Because it tends to lower the immune system, we will have to learn a lifestyle that protects my health during the treatments.
In the midst of all this we have become aware of how fortunate we are to live in Seattle, and to receive care from the SCCA, a national leader in this field. We thank God for this providential situation.
Thank you to so many of you who have been praying for our family over these months. We have accepted the reality that chemo is now a necessity. Would you now pray that this drug would hit the cancer, but limit its destruction to other areas where it has no business going. Also, please pray that our household adapt to the new lifestyle - rigorous hand-washing, limiting contact with bacteria and sources of infection, implementing strict hygienic food preparation practices, staying away from public places, crowds, and ailing individuals.
Gratefully yours,
-Cal-

A hard month

Actually the last month has been a very difficult month. Prior to the surgery we did get together with an old friend for a second opinion about it. Dr. Doug Lee concurred that it would be a good decision. So we felt confident in going ahead with the surgery. It went well. Except I acquired a yeast infection. By the end of the week my red blood count was very low. Dr. Lee told me to go to the ER and the hospital for a blood transfusion. He also ordered up all the usual tests-X-ray, CT scan, MRI, etc.. As a result the following week I was so weak that it was hard to get out of bed. With no appetite, fighting the yeast infection, I continued to get weaker. I didn't go to work. It was a downward spiral.
The intensive contact with the medical establishment has meant many more appointments and tests. It seems like things began to turn around about 10 days ago. My appetite began to return. But I am still weak and am trying to eat more. I am building up my stamina, but still have a ways to go. Through all this we have been trusting in the Lord and listening for his voice.
I would also appreciate your prayers for getting good rest at night. Thank you for your ongoing prayers.

-Cal-

Turn Around?

We hope this is the month for the turn around. On Monday the 15th, I go in for surgery. From the trend lines of January and February, we can surmise that the PSA number has continued to rise (134 at the last reading.) A rise in pain is an expected part of this. A call from the Cancer Care Alliance offered a second chance at participation in the clinical study if I was still interested. The obstacles to entry would be pretty much removed by the surgery coming up. So we have been making changes since the end of February in meds, routines, consultations, pain management, diet that needed adjustments.

We have asked people to pray since we wanted some sort of confirmation that we were heading down the right path in pursuing this clinical study. We received a strong confirmation last week as we went for a second opinion to Dr. Doug Lee at Northwest Hospital. He felt strongly that this was one of the best options available to us and was glad that we were taking it.

We ask that you would continue to pray for a quick recovery, a return to some predictable routines at home and at work, and a good assessment at where the battle picture stands following surgery.

We've also had a steady increase in the number of you who have called and assured us of your prayers and support. Thank you, thank you, deeply. One of our prayer warriors stated during a prayer session that she felt the increase in support. Just as she said that, I received a picture in my spirit of a glass, or plexiglass shield, at my side, doubling from an inch to a meaty 2 inch thickness and making a thudding sound by my feet. How wonderful and encouraging that has been.

-Cal-

February has been a month of ups and downs and turns in the road. In the middle of the month, we had a wonderful week+ vacation to the Hawaiian island of Kauai. It was everything you could wish for - great accommodations, no agenda, time with Annie and her family in a locale with long family history, great food, huge HDTV screens to watch the Olympics. At the same time, much of the time we dealt with new meds and pain management.

This was sandwiched in by two weeks of intense grant writing for work. I'm sure this stress is still being worked off in my body. But since returning and finishing off the last week of work, I have been worn down. Nausea has become a factor in addition to the others. This has interfered with the food and exercise routines that we had developed. We would appreciate it if you would pray as we try to reinstate these habits.

Because the PSA count continued to climb (134), we are now looking at a revised plan. In the second week of March, I will have a consult at the UW Urology Dept. On the 15th I will have surgery to cut the testes and take a biopsy of the prostate. This is supposed to bring down the PSA and the testosterone levels. Shortly there after, I will be looked at again for consideration into the Cancer Care Alliance clinical study. There is no guarantee of entry, but the oncologist feels that, the other avenues having failed, this is a hopeful way to go. Again we would appreciate your prayers for this course of action.

Thank you again so much for your willingness to lift us up in prayer.

-Cal-

Change of Direction

Last week the clinic told us the PSA readings had gone from the 80's to 120. Not the direction we want! The oncologist changed the medication and added a component. Over the course of the week, it created much more aches and pains than the previous ones. I was forced to cut back on work hours. It affected my sleep patterns.
Please pray that I would be able to get a good night's rest. Lack of restful sleep has meant that I face the new day tired, and without energy to finish the day.
Thank you for praying for me to get exercise. Until last week I had made good progress in this area. I may need it again as I try to re-establish it in my daily routine.
So many people at church have come up to me to let me know that they are praying for me. I have been told that I am prayed for daily. Some have said they wouldn't know how to open a blog, so they go on what they have heard months back. So I want to thank you all for your generosity with your thoughts and prayers. As the months have rolled on I have an increasing sense of being supported by threads of prayer forming a net of individuals who are parts of the Body of Christ. The net is local, my family, my church, co-workers, and friends. It is multi-lingual with prayers in Russian, Ukrainian, Vietnamese, Burmese, Spanish, Japanese, Chinese, Indonesian. It is also global with people across the States, in Hong Kong, Japan, Ukraine, and countries in Africa. It's an amazing realization and I hope it gives you a sense of this wonderful Body that we are all a part of.

-Cal-

A Closed Door

The clinical trial at the Cancer Care Alliance does not seem to be open to us. After going over the paperwork, the doctor said that I did not meet three of the criteria for entry to this clinical trial. Annie is at peace over this decision too. So we are back to the regular routine. We will be seeing our oncologist on the 15th and see what other options he has.
Thank you very much for your ongoing prayers. I feel so fortunate to have people like you praying on my behalf.

-Cal-

Clinical Trial Possibility

The last blood test in late December showed no improvement in the PSA numbers. So now the options are getting fewer. However the oncologist learned that there was a clinical trial for a new drug being tested and the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance was looking for participants. He was excited about this new drug and felt that I would be a good person for this trial as it targets prostate cancer, and, as I am in fairly good health. So on Monday the 11th I go in for an interview and apply.



Pray that God would be leading in this decision. We do not know if this is a good thing to be in this trial or not. And there is a certain amount of not wanting to be a guinea pig for an unknown drug. Also Annie is worried because present meds will probably stop if I become a participant and she doesn't know if that is a danger or not. Others have said that drugs that they test in this manner are very promising, and since there are many safeguards, that I should take it, if I can get in. We would like to submit everything to the Great Physician for guidance.

Please continue to pray for me to get 30 minutes of physical activity in daily. We have got it up to about 20 minutes 4-5 times a week and need to keep pressing in on this objective.

Thank you so much for being willing to pray for me on this matter.



-Cal-